“If you follow this advice, and if God commands you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people will go home in peace.” Exodus 18:23
I often complain about the many things I have do at home. Too many things to clean, too many clothes to fold, too many dishes to wash, too many errands to do! When the house chores are endless the stress level is well past its zenith and I’m already headed towards insanity. I am burnt out day in and day out.
Being a homemaker is exhausting. No labor is easy, for wives and especially for moms (pun intended)! And while it is something we expect, I still find myself whining over the things that are not surprising. I’ll wallow in self-pity. Then, my negative behavior will be reinforced whenever I read memes about moms getting burnt out.
OK, I love the authenticity of the memes. Because, it is real life. Who doesn’t love authentic?!? We applaud brokenness now because it is relatable (and yes this post talks about my brokenness of some sort.) BUT, I think while I admit my brokenness, it is also my responsibility to find healing so I won’t remain broken. Being broken is OK but remaining broken is not.
Back to being burnt out. I complained about the things I mentioned above. But then the Lord taught me why I did. It’s not rocket science, but maybe because it is too simple, I never thought about it.
The heart of the problem
Delegation. I do not delegate. We don’t have a house help so the tasks are all on me. But is that necessary? Thing is, it’s not. I have kids who can help other than my husband who never fails to ease my burden in many ways that he can. The problem is my heart. I am a control freak. I can simply mask it by saying that the kids are too young to do these things and that I do not want to burden them. It’s a lie. I just don’t want them to do the chores because I may not get the result I expect.
And maybe the other thing is that I have chosen the wrong priorities… I am lazy to teach. So I’d rather do things my own so I could finish fast, because I have something better else to do with my precious time (mobile, chat) that I didn’t realize that teaching my daughters is also a bonding time for us.
Jethro’s wise advice to Moses
Here’s what the Bible says about getting burnt out and delegation.
“When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he asked, “What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?” Moses replied, “Because the people come to me to get a ruling from God. When a dispute arises, they come to me, and I am the one who settles the case between the quarreling parties. I inform the people of God’s decrees and give them his instructions.” “This is not good!” Moses’ father-in-law exclaimed.” -Exodus 18:14-17
““You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself. Now listen to me, and let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you. You should continue to be the people’s representative before God, bringing their disputes to him. Teach them God’s decrees, and give them his instructions. Show them how to conduct their lives. But select from all the people some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes. Appoint them as leaders over groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty, and ten. They should always be available to solve the people’s common disputes, but have them bring the major cases to you. Let the leaders decide the smaller matters themselves. They will help you carry the load, making the task easier for you. If you follow this advice, and if God commands you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people will go home in peace.”” -Exodus 18:18-23
Delegation is about assigning specific tasks to your children that requires consistency and training from you as the parents. The very purpose of delegation is for the kids to master the tasks so the parents will no longer have do it by themselves, with the firm resolve that no other person at home or family will do it but the kid who’s assigned to the specific task. It is not only telling them of what to do at any given time simply for convenience, it is walking alongside them even in inconvenience, teaching them diligently until they master the task. “Teach them God’s decrees, and give them his instructions. Show them how to conduct their lives.” – Exodus 18:20
The action plan for right delegation
1. Find house chores appropriate for my kids’ age.
2. Spend time teaching them to accomplish each task.
3. Surrender priorities to the Lord because not all priorities are equal.
4. Trust the process by giving allowance for mistakes.
5. Start with one simple task at a time and be intentional in perfecting it. The goal is to be good at one and not to be mediocre at all.
6. Thank the kids for their efforts. Reward or give them opportunities to earn for finishing tasks way ahead of schedule.
7. Pray that the Lord will override all my training and that He will work in my kids’ hearts and character.
8. Last but not the least, be filled with the Holy Spirit to implement the changes with a gentle and quiet spirit, for the glory of God.
The fruit of delegation
1. More time with the kids when teaching them means more bonding and more intimate relationship with them.
2. Delegating means trusting them and teaching them to be independent
3. Lesser time to spend on house chores means more time allotted for the husband and for God.
4. Letting the kids do their own thing is allowing God do His works on them. 5. Happier home as there would be less bickering among all the members about what tasks to accomplish.
Sarah Carpio is a follower of Jesus Christ. She is a loving helpmate to her husband Cio. They are blessed with three daughters. She is now pregnant with baby number 4. They now serve the Lord by ministering to young families and disciple them to be Christ-committed families who will make Christ-committed families.
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