“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2
I have a bosom friend. She’s one of those let’s get together, fold laundry and make cookies kind of friends.
She’s the only friend who has seen me without make-up. She’s that kind of friend. We put our kids down for naps wherever we can find a place, drink coffee and talk about the hard stuff. She is a Titus 2 woman and I need her.
You need your version of her.
Especially if you are going to try and do this crazy foster care thing. We need to surround ourselves with women like these. Women willing to tear apart the roof to get us to Jesus because Lord knows we need him.
I tend to rely on sheer will power combined with Pinterest inspiration and to do lists, lots and lots of to do lists. The harder I feel like I am failing at the whole Mom thing the more lists I make. In fact the other day I made lists for everyone in my family except the baby. She was spared my nuttiness. I even made myself two different lists with multiple chores and projects without even realizing.
Sometimes I don’t even want this dear friend to see, I don’t even want my husband to know how extremely pathetic, unprepared, and impostor-ish I feel. Sitting at the library or the park with my kids I look just like all the other Moms. Starbucks, Lularoe, baby wearing, mess bun etc. but I don’t feel like them. These aren’t my kids and I don’t know what I’m doing. I was never really prepared for this. Our story goes a little something like this:
5 months of paperwork and then approval.
5 days later, we had a 3 year old.
1 day later we also had a 6 week old.
We were an instant family. I have a degree in Biology. My three year old knows how blood clots and what the water cycle is but I don’t know how to raise a child with trauma let alone two! I don’t know about you but I am addicted to Target. Yea, I’m one of those Moms. I used to think it was the cute school supplies, clothes, smell of coffee and my heavens that dollar spot though.
I recently realized it’s mostly the people. I drive my kids around in the cart hoping to come across a Mama with the same look in her eyes I do. I want her to look at me and say hello or even just a quick smile of camaraderie. If I’m totally honest about my ugly heart I am hoping there is a child melting down or another Mama finally losing her cool so I feel the tiniest bit better about myself. Terrible, I know.
Mama’s we need community. We need a tribe.
Foster Mama’s we need a unique kind of community who don’t think we are crazy for doing what we do (or at least understand the crazy).
Whatever you want to call it, we need it. We have been hard wired by an incredible Creator to need each other. Look out over that congregation next time you get a chance because you haven’t been called back to the nursery. Look at all of them and say to yourself “I need you”. Pick a few and pray for them. Become the community yourself.
Seek out those willing enough to be transparent enough. How would the paralyzed man have been saved and healed if his friends didn’t know his need? If we need the community and believe me we do than be willing to be the community.
Bring the laundry. Bring the pack and play. Drink the coffee. Savor the togetherness.
♡ Kathryn O’Brien is author of children’s picture books and writes for Proverbs 31 Woman.
If you like this story, you’ll love this too → Waiting on God for Mr. Right
Sign up for Proverbs 31 Woman newsletter!