Just a few generations ago, dutiful wives greeted hardworking husbands at the door after a long day at the office with a kiss on the cheek and slippers in hand. Their job was to make husband happy and his homecoming one of peace, tranquility and ease.
And so, with fresh lipstick and a pretty dress, the women of the house made sure that perfectly behaved children quietly read to one another in tidy bedrooms while dinner simmered on the stove. The ironing had long been finished, floors were spotless, and laundry was folded and put away.
We’ve come a long way, baby. Haven’t we?
Nowadays, a lot of us gals have our own long days on the job, either inside or outside of the home. We could use our own slippers at the door. Can I get an Amen? To be completely honest, by end of day in my home, dirty clothes are most likely in a heap on the floor and the kids may be quiet, but that’s only because they’re still playing video games.
Lipstick? That’s what date-nights are for. And dinner is only simmering if my sweet husband has been home long enough to help get it started.
I happened to have married a wonderful guy who shares every aspect of married life with me: parenting, housework, cooking, errands, finances. We do it together. But… he still comes home from long, stressful days at the office, and, call me old-fashioned, but I still want to make him happy and his homecoming as peaceful, tranquil and easy as I possibly can. I’m generally able to accomplish this goal, not because of something I do, but because of the things I don’t do.
Six things, to be exact…
- DON’T ask for his opinion. On anything. By the time he gets home, he has endured eight to ten hours of work-related views on a variety of topics. Bosses, employees, customers, colleagues and coworkers have been asking for his judgment on all sorts of issues and honestly, he needs a break.Of course he cares which color you paint the downstairs powder room, Morning Blue or Misty Green? He just doesn’t care the moment he walks in the front door.
- DON’T expect his full attention. You’ve been waiting to tell him something. And this something couldn’t be texted, emailed or phoned. He needs to listen. Really listen. Like full attention listen.It’s important… about one of the kids. Or your job. Or your doctor’s appointment. You want him to get the whole picture, understand all of the details. Catch every word. And he will. Just not right this second.
- DON’T demand his comfort. We all have challenging days. Our back hurts. Our head aches. We were up with one of the kids and didn’t sleep well last night. We’re probably coming down with something. How about a back rub? Foot rub? And, hey, it would be really nice if he got me a pillow.Those things would make it all better. Those things would show me he cares. Yes, he can do those things, in about fifteen minutes.
- DON’T take his time. Unless there’s an urgent situation, those first fifteen minutes he walks in the door are all his. If my husband wants a snack, he eats. If he wants to catch highlights from last night’s game, he turns it on. If he needs to write an email or has a phone call to make or just wants to lay down for a few minutes, so be it.When I allow my husband this freedom, I can literally see the stress melting away.
- DON’T request his help. Hi hon. By the way, the sink in the downstairs bathroom is dripping. The car is making a funny noise. The printer is jammed. Our son needs help with math homework and our daughter needs her bike chain fixed. Oh, and do you mind looking at the dog’s ear?She’s been scratching again. He’s so good at that stuff. Just give Superman a little rest before you ask him to spring into action.
- DON’T insist on his appreciation. Somehow, even on this hectic day, with all of the other things on our plates, we’ve still managed to put away the laundry, go to the grocery store and meet with our child’s teacher. Now we’re helping with a book report while we’re cutting carrots for the salad.Wow! We wives are amazing! Your husband wholeheartedly agrees, he just needs a little time before shows it.
Fortunately today, wives aren’t expected to be waiting by the door with slippers. But a marriage built on love, faith and respect means watching out for one another. I hope these little things help in making your husband happy at the end of a hectic day.
Remember, it’s the little things we do, uh don’t do, that mean the most.
♡ If you like this story, you’ll love this too → 7 Habits of a Highly Chilled Out Wife
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