God Help Me! My Baby's Yaya Is Driving Me Nuts!

God Help Me! My Baby’s Yaya Is Driving Me Nuts!

“You shall not oppress a hired servant who is poor and needy.. for he is poor and sets his heart on it; so that he will not cry against you to the LORD and it become sin in you.” – Deuteronomy 24:14-15

Sometimes, the enemy uses mistakes to blind us from seeing the good in people. He delights in melting our Christianity through other people’s shortcomings. And I will admit, at times, I myself can behave pretty badly for this.

I have a short fuse for lack of good sense or judgment.

The devil knows this and knows how to use it against me. He uses it pretty well in my test of faith.

I learned from the Bible though that the trick here is to “consider others more significant than ourselves.”

So whenever Satan strikes my helpers victims, I make a conscious effort to remember that I’m a sinner. I turn my focus on where he keeps my eyes from seeing, on how irritating I also might be to them.

“In humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 2:3-5

Then it’s not too long before I realize that at most times, the mistakes were not really about them. It’s about me. Either my instructions weren’t specific or I wasn’t just clear about what I want.

Of course, it’s a different story when your baby’s welfare or your authority is being questioned or compromised. My son’s first yaya was good but she was not in tune with how we do things for our baby. She seemed to find it hard to accept our ways of child-rearing, in spite of good reasons to do so (i.e. her pamahiin vs our pedia’s advice). She also likes pushing her argument when she makes mistakes.

Having her was a real challenge. Sooner than later, we decided that it’s better to find someone who is more oriented to the whole needs of our son rather than her own mindset.

Through that experience, God taught us that He wants us to invest significant time and energy in such consequential decisions, judiciously balancing compassion and standards – grace and law – whenever we manage people.

If you struggle with a helper’s attitude, just as we had, remember that we are called to treat our workers as we would Christ himself. Jesus faced constant frustrations, but he never got irritated. He always made time for people.

Sometimes, we get so preoccupied with our own things that we forget that people are the priority in life.

“Masters, do the same to them.” – Ephesians 6:9:

Of course, it’s easier said than done. But it helps to remind ourselves that our helpers had just been exhorted to render their service “as to the Lord and not to us” (Eph v. 7). So treat your yayas, drivers, your kasambahays with respect and as real people in the image of God.

Some practical lessons I learned through my experience is to keep in mind that their behavior is not personal. I learned that it’s important not to sweat out the small stuff. Understanding is key. 

The Bible instructs that the default attitude in all our relationships must be one of patience and forgiveness. So in all situations of dealing with mistakes or attitude, be sure to renew your mind first so your heart is full of love and respect. Don’t motivate by fear. You’ll have a better chance of reaching your helpers if they don’t feel threatened by anger and/or condemnation.

Lastly, it helps to establish rules at the onset so they know what values, ways or behaviors are important to you. 

Be a good example to them, and more importantly to your children. Show your kids the right way to treat people, beginning with their yayas. Don’t order helpers around. We are waaaay past beyond slavery era. They are helpers (from the root word help), not slaves. I’ve seen some people who have been used to helpers all their lives, they’d ask for anything even those within reach.  No one likes to be ordered around or micromanaged. It’s not only annoying but it’s not aligned with the way God has created us.

“Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.” – 1 Peter 5:3

I hope my advice helped! How about you? What other attitudes have you dealt with or are dealing with right now? Share with us in the comments!

Here’s the rest of my 5-part Yaya blog series, which you might also find helpful!

Proverbs 31 Woman: SHepherding the virtuous woman's heart

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