“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19
Abrupt yaya resignation is especially hard for our children. It causes feelings of abandonment that can lead to developmental problems and attachment issues later in their lives.
Unexpected yaya resignation also presents big challenges for us, mothers. Because it’s so easy to fall into relying on our helpers. With so much on our plate, we cling on to every little bit of aid and hope their helping hands will be there forever. We tend to forget that no one is indispensable and that nothing is permanent except the presence of God within us.
That is why a good exercise to do everyday is to ask yourself: “if yaya X quits tomorrow, what would that do to us?” If you find yourself wanting to just avoid the question, then you have a problem.
Although this is more a prevention than a cure to our topic, I can not stress enough on the value of a 1-month notice policy. It not only gives you ample time to find a suitable replacement but you can also use this to prepare your children in their transition to a new babysitter.
But more often than not, you will catch yourself in a situation where yaya has to jump ship immediately. When that happens, here are some ways to protect your children and family, and ensure that things go as smoothly as possible:
Once the bad news is delivered, breathe and pray.
And even if you’re upset, do your best to engage in a warm conversation about your helper’s reasons and future plans. Depending on how critical she is to you and how much of a disruption her absence will cause, see if you could propose alternatives or make counter offer. Understand the why behind her resignation as well, for your self-improvement.
Document your training.
It’s important to document key tasks in your baby and home management, because there will always be somebody else who will need to know how to do those things someday. My yaya manual has been saving me from such pressing times. It’s like a welcome kit I made, which includes my house rules, task schedules, cleaning standards, my foolproof recipes, tips and everything else routine and important in managing my home. So when a new yaya comes in, they can easily search for answers to their questions.
The manual makes everyone’s life a lot easier. I run through it with helpers once. I ask them to read it as they go through the day. They follow the step-by-step, hour-by-hour instructions. I check their work, give feedback, and commend what they do right. And voila! It becomes a habit sooner than I expect it.
“Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest.” – Proverbs 6: 6-8
Keep yaya happy.
My husband and I set Fridays as a family game night with yaya. It’s aimed to create a better and more enjoyable place to work for our helpers.
Every Wednesday, I also take yaya out for a discipleship merienda. We study the Bible and pray for each other’s concerns. It’s a time when we don’t talk about work or our household, we talk about things from the deeper parts of our hearts and souls. We get to know and understand each other, our needs and desires. Somehow, we get to be friends. It brings trust and the presence of God between us.
I highly recommend that you do the same with your helpers. It’s a great way to retain them for long-term. When yaya trusts that you genuinely have their best interests at heart, they won’t feel threatened to let you know they’re leaving, or even considering it. And when they do leave, they’ll want to do it on the best terms possible, eager to help with the transition, whether that means referring a replacement, training that replacement or any number of other things they can do to help.
If you’re serious on your walk with Jesus, you should start with your most important disciples: your husband, your children and your servants. Yaya isn’t just simply changing your baby’s diapers. Believe that it is through revelation that she was brought under your roof. She might have prayed to know God’s will for her and He has appointed you to shepherd her.
Your calling as an employer is to bless lives and to represent the Savior. Your voice to testify becomes the same as His voice. And just through the tasks you give them can build their faith. And should you forget who you are, just the way you speak and the way you treat them can make them quit and ultimately, destroy their faith.
And when they leave, wish them well and mean it.
Pray that God helps you see things beyond her decision and that He gives you the heart to still acknowledge her contributions despite the inconvenience her departure will cause you and your family.
If you keep going through perpetual yaya problems and migrations, this unrest maybe coming from God,
Pray that you develop an ear for the Holy Spirit.
When my son was born, my prayer was full of thanksgiving. I was amazed at how He allowed me to experience and relive Genesis through child-bearing. He has showed me creation and His love for us through motherhood. In my prayer, I used to say, “Lord, use my life for you have given me life. Lead me, I will follow.” I was sincere and I meant it when I said I will go anywhere, do anything He will call me to do.
Then, I heard a gentle yet lucid whisper in my soul, “Will you embrace peaceful content?”
I knew exactly what the Lord meant. He has called me to stay. To be still. To serve home and raise my family.
It could be that He’s calling you to be a housewife. This will surely bring opposition within you, within your circumstance. But God magnifies those He calls, even in what may seem to you an absurd idea. You need not fear, because with your call comes great promises. He is perfectly aware of your situation and able to intervene with His power. That is why He can promise you:
That He himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. – Deuteronomy 31:8
There are many other reasons why God maybe calling your attention. Seek Him and He will guide you by revelation on what purpose He may want to use you.
And if otherwise you have to terminate a helper for whatever reason,
Give her a chance or retrain her before you do.
You may want to take into account your helper’s family situation first. If things aren’t really bearable, do the firing with a loving heart and explain your rationale for the decision. Assist her in locating suitable work or at least provide her enough severance pay to transition to another job in a financially-seamless manner. Remember that our Christian responsibility to love and serve our helpers does not end along with their service. God wants us to walk with our helpers in hard times, whether we’re walking them back to their duties at home or out the door.
And there’s my last installment! I hope my advice helped you! Share with us how you and your baby coped up with yaya resignations. Drop us some tips in the comments!
Here’s the rest of my 5-part Yaya blog series, in case you missed one!
- Where Do I Start? Godly Solutions for Yaya Problems
- How To Find A Good, Long-Term Yaya For Your Baby
- God Help Me! My Baby’s Yaya Is Driving Me Nuts!
- How To Curb Your Kasambahay’s Chronic Cash Advances