“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” – James 1:12
When I was 26, I made a strict laundry list of qualities I should be looking for in a man. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend then, I was already looking for a husband. And so I dated one guy. Cutting the story short, I became his girlfriend and broke up with him a week after. I figured too early that although this guy could make a great friend, he would pretty much end up as my Ishmael if we push through with our relationship. Try as I may, but I won’t be able to turn him into an Isaac.
Don’t get me wrong, some of the things I was hoping for were reasonable and good, like wanting to have someone who was serious about his faith; others were far less essential. But during then, I just knew delaying the break-up by months or even years will only result in disaster.
He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing. – Proverbs 29:1
Especially these days, it’s confusing and never been easier to get tempted to settle for a spouse and mediocre relationships.
Of course, the devil wants us to settle in our relationships.
If you enter and stay in a relationship by leaning on your own understanding, if you ignore God’s voice and justify your choices, your relationship is going to end faster than the Humphries. DO not fall for this.
And just because you date a Christian man doesn’t mean he is the “one.” Satan’s biggest weapons wear masks of humility and clothe themselves in religious apparels in their attempts to fool the church. These are some of the biggest devils on the singles’ market.
“Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng.”- Proverbs 7:25-26
Believe that you will be happiest in relationships if you allow God to direct you to the right man.
Take your relationship to God and love yourself the way God sees you– worth saving from the cross, more precious than rubies.
Consider this story from an unknown author and learn from this woman’s checklist.
In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: ‘What kind of man are you looking for?’ She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, ‘Do you really want to know?’ Reluctantly, he said, ‘Yes.’ She began to expound, As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what you can do for me that I can’t for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, ‘What can you bring to the table?’ The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.
She quickly corrected his thought & stated, ‘ I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. She said, ‘I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked – believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don’t need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family oriented. One who can be the leader and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect.
In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive, he just has to be worthy. And by the way, I am not looking for him … He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help him self.
When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, ‘You are asking a lot?! She replied, “I’m worth a lot.”
God wants you to have the best marriage possible, if His will for you is to be married. You deserve someone who will appreciate you for who God made you to be, embrace all that God has for you, encourage you to grow spiritually, and cherish you as a precious gift from our Father. Don’t settle for less than God’s best.
“The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less.” – 2 Corinthians 5:5
May God bless and guide your way to a delightful and God-honoring mission to find the perfect one for you.